PDHugh Bach (theriteofspring) wrote in otyugh_nation,
PDHugh Bach

Otyugh Stadium

South of Stag Nation lies Stag Desert, in the center of which lies Stag Stadium. Every month, the overly sentient stags of Stag Nation, of which only a small percentage are, gather around in Stag Stadium, speaking of topics, very important topics, sometimes topics who demand that their prescence be adorned with French food. Topics are especially fond of baguettes and brie.

Stag Stadium is the most peculiar construction in Stag Nation. From the sky, it looks like a series of concentric circles, modified for seating, deeper and darker towards the center. Some stags with too much free time on their hands have found that these concentric circles actually encircle the realm and it's only that the markings get less conspicuous. Some stags with even more free time have found that on the nearly exact opposite side of the globe, a minature version of Stag Stadium seems to have formed, although it's mostly collapsed, like a sand castle a few moments after the tide reaches it. Stag Stadium, on the other hand, is perfectly intact. It glistens because it's mostly quartz and hence, is an excellent reflective surface. Abraision by sand and stag fur has made it even more reflective. On the fringes of Stag Stadium, one can find thin, intact pieces of quartz. Some of the actors in Stag Nation take home reflective pieces of quartz to help them practice how best to make an impression not unlike that ducks make when a pie is thrown at them.

Underneath the quartz, you can see pockets of sand here and there, and in between the sand and quartz in a few places, especially towards the center, are what seem to be inscriptions, beetle-like shapes. Some people believe they were the contructors of Stag Stadium and are partially right. Some stags with too much free time believe that the last few beetle-architects of Stag Stadium entombed themselves in the quartz in an effort to guard the secrets of what they believe is an impressive tomb, even for the standards of beetles. Some have ventured underneath the Stag Stadium to search for this treasure, but all have been driven out by the sight of notorious quartz wyrm-holes, through which wyrms sometimes drag their victims and into their lairs where they coerce their victims into games of chess as quartz wyrms are really rather lonely creatures.

Stag Stadium is not one of the natural wonders of the realm because were you to lay in one of its seats, any of its seats, you would directly face a sphere off in the distance, directly above the center of the Stadium, a very certainly unnatural sphere. This sphere is really dark. It's so incomprehensibly insensibly dark, you can easilly make it out in the night sky. Against the bright blue sky, eye contact is absolutely hazardous. Another strange property was that anyone who sat at the center of the stadium would have his or her voice amplified by the sphere. The amplifciation dims gradually as one steps away from the center of the sphere. The most important topics are spoken close to the center of the stadium where everyone elsewhere in the stadium can hear them. Caterers are always nearby and ready, if ever the topics have sudden cravings for French food.

A group of local bandits live nearby, lurking in a grove of cacti. They're there because every few weeks or so, someone, usually an overly curious scientist with too much free time, enough free time to have built a contraption for doing so, tries to land on the really dark sphere in search of its secrets. The scientists and equipment would light up brightly for a second once they touch the sphere and wilter down where the bandits are ready to plunder the goods. Within their grove of cacti, they have a wide assortment of goggles, machine parts and geeky attire, which they sometimes take to markets to sell to other scientists with too much free time. Often-times, the bandits would recognize the equipment they steal from overly-curious scientists as something they've sold earlier.

What most people don't know is that the Stag Stadium is like a freshnel lens by which I mean it concentrates light, but the difference is that this light is reflected and thanks to the quirky set of rules by which the patron deity contructed the universe containing Stag Nation, Stag Stadium directs all its' reflected light towards the sphere, which, because it's a completely absorbant surface, gets really hot. Once, an assassination attempt was made by shooting an iron arrow at the sphere, which promptly melted, sending a shower of molten iron towards the center of Stag Stadium. For this reason, a canopy has been built over the center of the Stadium.

No one in Stag Nation knows that Stag Stadium was created in mere seconds. Long ago, when the patron deity was creating this realm, shi set up a system by which shi could relay messages to his contractor. Shi thus created this invincible sphere, infinitely lacking in pigment so it wouldn't interfere with the bright template in which the patron deity would paint the land. Shi would relay her messages on a microphone, an oblong box with sides of the ratio 1:4:9, which fit perfectly on the crack on hir butt-chin. Once the patron deity of Stag Nation finished building this realm, shi gave an address to hir people, in which hir main purpose was to just stand there and look cool. This included perking up hir immense butt chin, to which the microphone fell off. No one was really paying attention since the patron deitys' attire gave them an impressive view of hir arm-pit hair, which truly is a sight to behold. Shi would be well into the construction of another realm before shi'd notice the box was missing.

As it fell, this microphone imbedded itself on a crack of a turtle shell. The rabbits living in the shell were not too pleased at this and took one of the patron deitys' stray armpit hairs, wrapped it around the microphone, and flung it towards a nearby swamp. Gluck the Crock, who was plucking plenty of poorly planned puns upon unponderable plunderables, upon discovery of the box, drove away all animals within a ten mile radius of the really dark sphere away with her charlatanious chatter. She then proceded to play submarine with it, in which she bobs her head on the surface of the swamp, pretending that her eye is really the window of a submarine and she's looking out at the buoy, an oblong one with the sides of the ratio 1:4:9. The patron deitys' armpit hair got tangled in Cruck the Glocks' foot when Gluck the Crock implored him to stay for a moment. Cruck left shortly after, too offended by Gluck to notice the oblong box. Shortly after, Cruck whiffed away in a puff of nearly perfect logic to which the oblong box fell and found its way on Azazels' head, who got really pissed off and kicked Doniel Socks really hard, but only succeeded in tickling Doniels' ear.

After a few days of more natural Rube-Goldberg-like contraptions, a beetle with a black shell found the oblong box, really just a few feet from the turtle shell in which it began its journey. The beetle decided to carry the oblong box whereever it went. Within a year, the beetle kingdom held a sort of religious reverence for the oblong box, perhaps because of its dark shell, far darker than those of the beetles, and thus, the oblong box began a pilgrimage to all the various religious outposts of the beetles throughout the realm, carried by the beetle who discovered it, who gradually got more annoyed at having to be the one to lug it everywhere.

While on his way to Stag Nation, the annoyed beetle yelled "Coffee break!". Ten seconds later, a faint "Coffee break!" could be heard some distance off. After a coffee break and some trekking, the beetles located the source of this echo, an infinitely dark sphere floating above the land. On the way there, the beetle who discovered the oblong box was gradually more revered by the accompanying beetles until they were right underneath the sphere, when they decided that he was the the messiah of the beetles. Perhaps the answer they'd been seeking all this time to the question "why don't we have wings?" (they only meant this metaphorically) would be answered by the source of the echoes, the sphere. Soon, all the beetles of the realm decided to form such a structure as to bring the messiah as close as possible to what was perhaps the answer. A pyramid of beetles, made of all the able and available beetles was collected rather quickly, due to the religious collective fervor of the beetles. The beetle with the oblong box proceeded to climb up to the top of the pyramid of wingless dark beetles, swaying a bit in the desert wind, until he was right underneath the sphere.

He proceeded to ask "why don't we have wings?" to which the sphere resounded ten times more loudly "why don't we have wings?". This was picked up by the microphone and was amplified ten times more loudly. At about the tenth repetition of this process, the energy generated by the sound coming out of the speakers started to propell the oblong box downwards at high speeds. It struck the desert and imbedded itself some distance underneath the surface. The violence of such an action created such a shockwave to pass through the sphere that the sand underneath the sphere instantly melted, preserving a pattern of the shockwave, a perfect fresnel-like mirror which, due to the quirky laws set by the patron god of this particular universe, reflected a great deal of light towards the sphere. A really loud "WHY DON'T WE HAVE WINGS?" was heard the world over. Following this was the shockwave, which resounded the realm around until it climaxed at the opposite end with a pattern similar to that of Stag Stadium.

This wiped out nearly the entire dark beetle population of the Realm. A couple of house-beetles, who were left behind to do house keeping chores, survived. Only one male beetle was left behind, merely a few minutes old, this beetle was beset with debilitating mutations, an extra set of stags, pair of legs, some tentacles, the usual. One of these mutations was a set of wings, very delicate things. This male beetle would thus become the messiah of future generations of beetles, who did have wings, although they were so fragile as to become rendered useless before mid-life. Over time, a hard carapace evolved over the weak wings, protecting them from the harsh elements of nature.
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